I don't recognize myself

Sometimes, when i'm looking myself on a picture i don't recognize myself anymore, it's as if it wasn't me, like i know it is me but i don't want to accept that. I watch myself while thinking "me in the future" and now like i really am right now. I hadn't really noticed it until now, that i admit i don't like myself as i am now, i accept it but i do not like it, and then i have this feeling that i'll change and i convince myself that i'm not really like this and visualize myself in my "future me". Weird huh?.... maybe it's more common than i think.
I'm not saying that i don't like myself, i'm just not satisfied with me, i know i can be more than i am now, so when i look myself on a pic, i don't only see myself as an "unfinished" project but as a someone who needs to improve, not only on the exterior but in the interior too. I gotta stop think about that guy who's driving me crazy since some years ago. I have to make myself understand that i'm over for him so he should be over for me. Why am i like this? ... i say "yeah, we're friends and for sure that i don't love you anymore" but i know i'm lying and just fooling myself. I never thought i could get to this point where i am right now... in total sumission... does he know all the power he was on me??... maybe, and he's using it ... or maybe he's just being as he is.
He confuses me and i'm not really in the mood of being avaible anymore. This also must stop cuz i'm losing myself... i don't recognize anything about what i'm doing ... it's not me... but it is me so i'm just losing myself.