¡¡¡¡ LO AMO !!!!

¿Porqué trato de negar lo evidente?.

Aún lo amo!!. Dios mio no sé que hacer, es que yo lo amo aún y siento que nunca lo dejaré de amar. ¿Que sentido tiene mi vida en el plano amoroso si me pasaré una vida sin él?. Yo seguiré aqui pero el no estará conmigo y entonces ¿qué?... ayudame, explicame, ¿cómo le hago para estar bien?. En verdad que he tratado de hacerme a la idea de que lo nuestro está terminado pero solo me estoy engañando a mi misma, y creo que tú lo sabes. ¿Porqué no me ayudas a saber como le hago para vivir sin mi alma gemela que ya habia encontrado y la perdí?. ¿porqué no me explicas porque sucedió eso?. ¿porqué dejó de amarme?. ¿Porqué lo sigo amando a pesar de todo?. ¿Porqué mi tonto corazón no aprende y se hace la idea de que ya no hay mas de su amor para nosotros y que regresamos al comienzo en una visa sin él?.

Yo sé perfectamente que nadie lo amará como yo, y aún así no puedo estar con él.

A veces parece que entiendo y hasta creo que comprendo mi situación pero después me doy cuenta que tengo tantas preguntas y dudas sobre todo este enredo amoroso. ¿Porqué me enamoré?. Bueno en realidad me alegra haberme enamorado de alguien como él, en realidad no tengo nada de que quejarme sobre eso, y agradezco haber tenido la dicha de sentir el verdadero amor, pero aún no sé que hacer con todo este amor que siento por él.

Creo que lo seguíré esperando, como se dice por ahí "déjalo ir y se regresa es que te ama y si no vuelve es que nunca te amo". Talvez hay algo de cierto en eso.

No one will love you on earth as i do!

I know that it's probably wrong that i'm saying that BUT i feel it like that. I love someone so much that i'm sure no one will love him as much as i do, not even in 10 millions years he will find someone who loves him as i do it, because i'm so sure and i can feel it in every pore of my skin that you were meant for me and i was meant for you. You're my other half and i'm yours but why are you so blind?, you told me i was and now you're not sure, you let others to tear us appart, but it was finally you who let me on a side.
You are my other half i can't deny, and i've been looking for you all my life, i found you, i felt the happiest girl on earth and the luckiest one for finding you but life is weird and i lost you... maybe i can't say i "lost" you because i probably never "had" you. Maybe all that sad story about our love is a way from life to tell me "down girl" and let me know that i cant be that happy all my life even if i believe in that.
I feel mad at you sometimes, more when i realize that you don't give a damn about me, well it seems, and the real reason i get mad is because it hurts me, you hurt me, bui i can't even dare to blame you because i love you so much.
So please anyone explain me how love can be so wonderful but also so hard when you can't be with the one you love?.
As i don't really know how to end this "thought", i'll just say
"where's my hero?, he's out there somewhere, left of the middle"
Left of the middle - Natalie Imbruglia.

whatever!

whatever!
It's still hard to me to talk about the day i broke up with him, i want to avoid it and think about something else... it's not that i'm denying it but it hurts me to think about that, but of course that i know that we broke up and we're FRIENDS now.... weren't we friends before????.
I'm trying to find a reason to hate him but i don't wanna hate him, but do you want to know why i want to find that reason?, because i feel that would make me help to forget this feeling of love for him faster. Right now i'm all a mess, i think i'm going "good" at university just because it has to be like that, but not because i really want, sometimes i feel wanna quit everything and just get lost and dissapeared from here and become a new person in another place where no one knows anything about me. Why i want that?, i don't know really, but i'd feel free and with a chance to start my life all over again, like a re-born. I can't believe he's causing me all these dilemas.
I don't regret about anything that happened, those were beautiful moments and a really great part of my life. So right now you must be wondering why i wanna start all over again and just think in something else... well it's because i still love him and he doesn't love me back and it hurts. I'm still the same girl who used to wait for him to talk and who was always happy thinking about our future together, even if it won't be possible again now. why i don't learn about what happened to me?. It supposes that i'm a "smart girl" and i know what's good for me and this way i'm living my life right now it's not good but it makes me feel good... so could it be that things that seem not to be good for someone become in good things because make that someone feel good or happy?.
Can you notice the mess that is in my head right now?. Well it was there even before i met him so.. i can't blame him for that i guess. I don't want either so it's cool with me.
what i still don't get it's why he stopped loving me???, i don't believe in what he told me when he walked away and said good bye. Sometimes i wish i could get into people's mind and know what they thought or are thinking in this moment, because just in that case i'd know the real reason why my ex boyfriend broke up with me.
I'm getting a bit obsessive about it...
Well ... i'll try not to think too much about it even if i can't help it.
Ciaocito!