Hmm happily in love??

I've been thinking (as i always) and i know i'm in love of him, my drug (as i could him sometimes because when he's not around i miss him so much), my baby, my boyfriend, my everything and i'm not ashame of saying all that. I'm so much in love of him, i'm lost in love ...can that be possible?. I feel something inside me is growing more and more and that it will come a point where that is going to eat me and all be all love, pure love... is that possible??. Well everything is possible.
The thing is that when he's not around i'm waiting for him and i want him so much to be with me, but i know he's doing his life, hanging with friends and living life and i'm not because the only thing i want to do is sharing my time with him, i know love hit me so hard but i don't want to become a depending person, i don't want that my happiness or my mood depends of him, i know i love him sooo much but i know i'm wrong with all this i'm doing, i gotta make a change, or suddenly it won't be more me ... i've fought so much for not letting that others control my emotions, when i get happy, when i'm sad.... i don't want that so i must do something NOW!. Quick!!! before it moves more and i can't do anything about it. It doens't mean i don't love him, hell he knows how much i do!!. =)

Thinking back

I'm listening to music and just a few minutes ago a song started and that brought me old memories, some sad and some happy. I just remembered my friend Araceli who committed suicide, she loved the song i was listening a minutes ago, we sang it together in a karaoke bar like 2 years ago and it was awesome!!. I don't really know why she did that she did, i still don't get it after a year. I used to dreamt about her after she died, and i thought she wanted me to pray for her... i haven't dreamt about her in a long time. I hope she's ok at least. A lot of persons miss her here in earth. She was so much funny and i had so much fun with her. I could say a lot of memories as that one at the pool or the one at Joey's Oyster Bar... those were old good times. Now everything is different, since she went away everything is, i'm not complaining, i strongly think that things happen for a reason and all persons have to move on but there're some instants in your life where you wish you could go back in time and fix something or just be with someone is not here anymore, those instants where you wish not be an adult or where you miss when you were a child, an innocent girl full of life and who believes in all people... it's not that we're not like that anymore, it's just that we've changed, always for the best!!. I wish i could believe it at all.

Try to be happy!!, that's the only way =)