i'm depressed

Sometimes it's so easy to say how you feel and what you're thinking but anothers is hard. Right now it's hard for me to say that i'm depressed because i don't really know if i am, and also i don't know the exactly reason. Why am i feeling like this?.
I had a love, i met him by internet and we became good friends, the time passed and our feelings were growing and getting deeper until one day i said the magic words, i said "i love you" and he answered me the same, our relationship became stronger and we started to share a lot of good moments. I don't know really how it is possible to love someone that you have never seen and met in person, maybe my heart was playing with me and as i wanted to be so much with someone i just let myself go but very deep inside me i must knew that it wasn't going to work. So that words that i had very deep inside me one day arrived, he ended with our "relantionship"; i was sad but i tried to take it in the best way possible, i cried and wrote a lot in my diary, i talked with my mother and my father about it, they must thought i was crazy but even like that they supported me and gave me comfort. A week and days later i felt better but then he started to tell me nice things again and he wasn't sure about his feelings again, he told me that maybe his feelings were the same, that he still cares about me and miss me and think and dream about me and all that, but what makes this impossible is the distance (because now he's in Netherlands and i'm here in México); i said i understood and tried to make him feel better. A couple of days later i started to feel like this, sad, disapointed, and i know that it's because of him. I know i can't be with him now and maybe we will never be together but it doesn't stop me to feel the same about him. Sometimes i wonder why he had to tell me that maybe it would be better if we weren't a "couple" anymore because this wasn't going to work. Now i feel that i can't trust him and sometimes i feel like i hate him... i just hate to be like this because i know myself and i'm not like this, i don't hate anyone, i'm not a depressing person, not anymore, i know what i want and i'm so downearth...why i let myself going in that fantasy? i don't want to say that our relantionship is impossible but it seems that he doesn't want to be with me really,i'm just a game by internet. i shouldn't think like this, i shouldn't feel like this, someone has to help me, God has to help me, i'm praying for being myself again, my true me.